BOOZINE
WORLD TOP 12
1.
Wigwam - 'Rock A Doodle Do'
2. Pop Levi - 'Blue Honey'
3. Beverley Williams - 'Then There Was You'
4. Scott Walker - 'Plastic Palace People'
5. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - 'God Is In The
House'
6. Olivia Newton John & ELO - 'Xanadu'
7. Cobra Killer - 'LA Shaker'
8. Soft Cell - 'Sexdwarf'
9. Verdelle Smith - 'Tar & Cement'
10. Jad Fair & The Pastels - 'This Could Be The Night'
11. April March - 'Sugar'
12. Aztec Camera - 'Oblivious'
TIP
OF THE WEEK....
Weak Milky Drink Of Aguilerra
in the 9:46 at Ian Ogilvie
Weak Milky Drink Of Aguilerra
in the 9:46 at Ian Ogilvie
With Georgie Small, our resident DAILY HELL columnist.
'If you ask me, the PC Brigade have had it their own way for way too long now, and when I say that I don't mean PC owners (although they are mostly paedos) or Police Constables (but don't get me started on those liberal lily-livered 'community' officers)... I mean those bottom feeding namby-pamby pink shirt wearing nonces that usually work for the council or the BBC and come up with ridiculous rules that we all have to follow. I was in Edinburgh last week visiting some of my friends (it's not so bad in Edinburgh - parts of it almost seem English) and I went into a pub. Upon lighting up a fine cigarillo to go with my Pimms I was told "Ya cannae no doo that now, it's against the law, och aye." I was outraged! It's POLITICAL CORRECTNESS GONE MAD I told him, or would have done had he been a foot shorter. Not content with stealing all our taxes to spend on methadone, now the Scotch say we can't enjoy one of a man's greatest pleasures, the sweet nauseous hit of tobacco, just because some Polenta eating councillor called Jocasta says it would violate the rights of her unborn child, even though her place is clearly not in a drinking establishment but at home basting the roast...
And then they start messing with our kids! Some jumped up little sandal-wearing freak tells us we can't sing 'Baa Baa Black Sheep' in nurseries any more because it might offend the colonials... I blame Ghandi - apparently it's offensive to call them Pakis now - even if they actually do come from Pakistan! What's this country coming to?
If they are going to ban any nursery rhyme, why not pick on 'The Grand Old Duke Of York'? I'll tell you why - it's fashionable nowadays to 'have' 10 000 men, in fact it's actively encouraged - if the Duke was alive today they'd give him a BBC primetime gameshow. Broadcasting House is nonce central these days - Mary Whitehouse would turn in her grave... or at least tut in it...
MASTERCHEF - with Cotton Lindale
*
Monks nest paté with air of menace
Linda Perry foie gras with essence de self satisfication
Powerpuff fondue on a bed of Irish brogue
Orange or grapefruit pips
*
Dogs D'amour served with well upholstered Gorf and larks haunch
Braised Brie Dozy Beaky Mick and Titch
Fettered Bogshed Mizzled with Jus De Bradley Walsh au Matin
Westlife Pallid Ballad Salad
*
Sticky Maelstrom of Ginger bitch felched with hot George Martin
Creme Mancunia with Snozzberry curtains
Orations of Ford Ka rippled with lithe goalscoring opportunities
*
Choice of whore
